I was hypnotized; [entries|friends|calendar] lynzeebee [ website | space of mine ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[08 Sep 2007|03:27pm] I guess you'd call it cowardice But I'm not prepared to go on like this. in the days when you were hopelessly bored, I just liked you more. unfortunately like always no one has any ideas, damn You've made it through the direst of straits alright, Can you help it if plain love now seems less interesting? Build bridges to nothing, you'll get nowhere! Didn't see no signs that they would yield and then thought "This will never end, This will never end, This will never stop." I got wood legs and bow legs and no legs at all The whole world's waking up. I got sore eyes and poor eyes and no eyes at all Goddamn! I don't know where I am. I don't know where I've been. I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head. Message read on the bathroom wall said: "I don't feel at all like I fall, And we're losing all touch, Losing all touch, Building a desert." I see only what I want to see. She just can't sustain the pressure where it's placed. She caves! The truth is I was just too dumb to stop myself from holding on. I believed in love. Do I have to tell the story of a thousand rainy days since we first met? It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up getting wet. I come clean out of love with my lover I still love her . Loved her more when she used to be sober and I was kinder.

[07 Aug 2007|03:18pm] My hair is fixed. It's a much nicer blond now, and also pretty gone. My hair is shorter than my boyfriend's. ha. I got a hostess job at Serrano's. eh. I have to get my wisdom teeth out on the 17th. EHHH. plus, I have to get the full anesthesia. so like... I'm pretty much going to die. =) Paulina and I ended up hanging out with some strangers in the caboose parking lot last night. It was actually pretty fucking rad and all. hm. heh. hmm. 6 comments|post comment

don't go getting your hopes up [27 May 2007|11:40pm] [ music | say anything- I am a transylvanian ] We have spent too much time together. This is something I can accept but, unfortunately cannot find a solution to, at least not one I'm willing to accept. and even though I try and include you in my life outside of well, you, it won't matter because any idea I could possibly conceive is uninteresting and you'll just ditch me, which is the same thing that you would do if I'd come up with nothing. I go to parties with your friends and every fucking family gathering there is to go to, I watch baseball for fuck's sake, see every stupid movie involving mediocre superheroes you want to watch, but you won't hang out with my friends unless you can get fucked up at the same time. I've tried to address this problem but if I get two words out of my mouth about anything that I see wrong with this ordeal, you get defensive and storm off. I'm clingy and unreasonable and ALWAYS in the wrong. You offer to buy me food without me even asking and then use it against me in an argument that you started. You drive to my house or drive us somewhere and if I say anything you don't like, you threaten to leave. You never realize what you do because you leave before the effects can take place, and I know you wouldn't leave if you could see what you do to me. I still have a lot of hope in this, and that's saying something because I'm a firm believer that hope in unnecessary. I hold hope in nothing except for you. But we got too wrapped up in each other, and now I seem to have nothing left but you. How is it you still have everything when I've lost everything in you. ( lime tree ) 1 comment|post comment

[27 Apr 2007|05:15pm] [ music | Bright Eyes- Road To Joy ] holy poop what I did today was sooooooooo illegal. like not misdemeanor-ish but more like federal crime..ish. This is a whole new level of stupid for me and I completely got away with it. bah haa I never got anyone to take my shift on Sunday and I'm not going into work. I think when they call me I might just answer and let them know just how I feel about them with a nice telephone line between us so I don't have to like...look into anyone's disappointed eyes or anything. Then quit. I pretty much hate it =) khdkjsdkjhakjdhfja festival shopping spree time! 8 comments|post comment

[05 Apr 2007|02:36pm] You savor everything. From the perfect conglomeration of freckles on a nose to the parallel lines inside of your car door and outside on the sidewalk. The bumps of your carpet floors are as lovely as a mountain range. Everything is slow and bright and fast and dull and wonderful. Everything that is soft is cold and everything that is warm is soft and everything that is rough is soft, too. Every cell breaths, every muscle relaxes. People are fascinating. Food is wonderful. Stupid is hilarious. Lines and curves and geometry and light and color jump at you. There are moments when you feel at peace and close to everything and there is overwhelming love. and then there's another, and another, and another, all night. Everything is more beautiful, softer, more intense. You appreciate. You see potholes as miracles. Your boundaries fall away and you can sit in the grass and fall into the sky. Everything is personal. Everyone is your closest friend and the wind is always perfect. You embrace the world you hated five minutes ago. You inhale. You laugh till your sides ache. Intelligence is gone and happiness is everywhere. There is no competition, no goals, no self-doubt. Nothing. We are all the same and we are all perfect. You taste with more feeling. You can taste with your fingertips. Your mind soars, because now it can. You think of things that you never thought you could think of and you say them before you think them and they are brilliant. Never mind the outsiders, never mind the fact that tomorrow morning it will all be over. Tonight is amazing and there is nothing beyond tonight. 6 comments|post comment

give us the wheel [31 Mar 2007|11:04am] My life as of recently: The feeder school business at Scott Middle was pretty dumb. Stephen mugged the eighth graders as he handed out the enthusiastic little "take speech!" flyers. Scott middle smells like hot glue guns and vomit. And I caused a few problems with our play when I said that King George was placing taxes of anything he could stink of. Thursday rounds went well. I was unable to eat anything from 11:45 to 10:00 due to my lack of money or time to go get food with the money I didn't have. That was fun. Friday we had one round that had to be the best we've had. ever. We had smart people in that round. They were dying of laughter. Our last round yesterday consisted of people muttering "ohhh I get itt!" little difference there. Our judge, unfortunately, looked likey to loooooooooove Jesus, and it's bad when they love Jesus. And have huge wobbly turkey necks. That's just distracting. I screwed up the hardest line I have for the first time ("I have preached all along that there cometh one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.") It's hard to scream that shit. Matt got to watch me though. soh das niice. Then last night we did some serious maneuvering to get Anna's car out from behind Bill's so that we could take a much needed ride, go to the waterfall, then cane's. (blehhhhhh but it was gooooood.) In other news, my mom's a dick, and I'm theorizing that there may be a small demon living inside of my throat. It's yet to show itself vocally, but it has been pounding it's scaily little tail against my tonsils for the past two days. Jude and I broke to semi-finals. Wish me luck. If you don't, and we lose, you're obviously to blame. have a nice day, all. post comment

[14 Sep 2004|10:56am] 2 comments|post comment

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